- “When you were a child, what did you hope to be when you grew up? Why?”
This one is a classic for a reason. Talking about hopes and dreams-even if they’ve totally changed-makes you feel bonded to your S.O. (and them to you). And it shows you what they were interested in as a kid, a time you (likely) didn’t know them.
- “When’s the last time you cried?”
This question can help your boyfriend open up about the things that make him emotional. Whether they were happy, sad, or angry tears, you’ll learn what makes them feel the feels, notes Dr. Chloe.
- “What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?”
This line is bound to lead to an interesting conversation-one that may reveal what’s worth a fib to your partner and whether or not they regret being dishonest. Of course, they may not actually cop to their biggest lie, but whatever they do admit counts.
- How do you feel about our sex life right now?
As previously mentioned, sexual compatibility can be the thing that makes or breaks a relationship, says Suwinyattichaiporn. If you get into the habit of regularly checking in with your partner about this, it can be way less daunting to bring up a special request. Maybe your partner wants more oral sex, or more regular massages. You don’t know if you don’t ask! This also opens up the door to share what you are craving.
- What’s your view on sex in long-term relationships?
Suwinyattichaiporn encourages all people in long-term relationships to ask this question. A good, fulfilling sexual relationship can mean completely different things to different people. Best to make sure you are on the same page. If you are someone who wants to have good quality sexy time once a week, maybe you shouldn’t be with a partner who wants to have sex three times a day.
- What did you find challenging about your childhood, and how did you overcome it?
Now this is a good one. We’ve all heard the favorite childhood story question, but we know no one’s childhood was all puppies and rainbows. It’s important to know what kind of obstacles your partner faced as a little one, and what those challenges mean to them now, says Suwinyattichaiporn. It can also give you a look into what you’re up against when dealing with their family!
- What is a part about my personality that you don’t love but have been willing to find acceptance about because you love me?
Honesty is KEY in a long-term relationship, says McNeal. Having the ability to know what your partner doesn’t like about you, is perhaps even more important than knowing what they love about you. These little things may not change, but you’ll feel stronger knowing your quirks aren’t dealbreakers.
- How do we let each other know when we need space?
Space besthookupwebsites.org/loveagain-review can be another tricky topic. But we all need a little alone time eventually, right? Admitting you need space does not mean you’re having problems, it’s actually a really healthy thing, says McNeal. If you create a playbook for how to ask for it, a little QT away from your loved one might not feel like a rejection. No more picking fake fights!
- “If you won the lottery, where would you travel and why?”
“This tells you all about your partner’s dreams for adventure and travel,” Orbuch says. Plus, it’s a fun opener that gives you a deeper look into their psyche without getting too intense from the get-go.